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Top Ten Pirate Movies of All Time by Amelia G on Blue Blood

Top Ten Pirate Movies of All Time

1. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End — I’m going to count the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy which came out in 2003, 2006, and 2007 as all one entry in the...( Read more )

Free Stream Dating On Set Porn Comedy Season 1 by Amelia G on Blue Blood

Free Stream Dating On Set Porn Comedy Season 1

Dating on Set is a comedy project from Laura D and her partner in crime Josh Accardo. You can see the first season in the episodes below. I think ep 5 is the most laugh out loud funny. If they just keep getting better, I have good news because they are doing a Kickstarter to fund creation of a...( Read more )

Avatar Porn (This Ain’t James Cameron … Or is it?)

How to screen a movie and porn parody – Avatar and Avatar XXX Double Feature Funtime



by Amelia G : October 21st, 2010

avatar porn

A long time ago, in a land far from here, my punk rock group house Cambodia held a screening of a double feature of Edward Scissorhands and Edward Penishands. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that Edward Scissorhands was in fact the better movie, but it was still a really fun night. With Hustler releasing This Ain’t Avatar XXX 3D, this came to mind. If you show your own fabulous double feature, always play the original movie first and then the porn parody or the adult video won’t make sense to viewers who haven’t seen the first one.

Having personally participated in painting up a lot of red devil girls for Barely Evil and even a science fiction green creature from the sexy lagoon for Erotic Fandom, I have extra admiration for the job head makeup artist Lee Garland did on the Avatar creatures. One of the difficulties in shooting anything really explicit with body paint is that the paint tends to come off. Apparently, leader actor Chris Johnson, who played the XXX porn parody Jake Sully from Avatar, was blue for days, during the production of This Ain’t Avatar XXX 3D. Lee Garland explains, “We used an alcohol-based paint so that it wouldn’t sweat or rub off during the film’s most important scenes. In fact, I believe we used over forty bottles during the whole production. At more than fifty dollars a bottle, you can imagine what kind of finances went in to airbrushing the actors blue.”

Okay, I was probably still more turned on by the original Avatar. (Yeah, I’m a dork and I thought Avatar was hot, only movie I bothered to see in the theatre last year.) But the porn version is a cut above what porn parodies usually bring to the table and it is so convenient to view on the Hustler site now. The blue substance is not unobtainium but viagratanium. You know you have to check it out. We have a SFW free Avatar porn gallery here on BlueBlood.net for your safe viewing pleasure and I recommend checking out the Hustler XXX version of Avatar when you are either safely alone or in a living room full of degenerate punk . . .

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Kevin Smith Has a Good Eye for Porn

Kevin Smith Has a Good Eye for Porn

by Amelia G : March 27th, 2009 Zack and Miri Make a PornoZack and Miri Make a Porno, a Kevin Smith romantic comedy starring Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks, just came out on DVD. I hear there may have been some difficulties getting an R rating which caused some of the trash talk dialog I expect and love in Kevin Smith movies to be toned down. Now it would be easy to focus on how flawed the porn video business concept in the movie is (The whole business plan is to market to an email list they do not own.), but the point of the movie is really to be a lewd When Harry Met Sally. A recurring theme in Kevin Smith movies is realizing that the woman a man should love and appreciate most is perhaps right in front of him. So the movie is fine as a romantic comedy. It is not as hilarious as Clerks or as emotional as Chasing Amy, but it is solid enough. The really remarkable thing about the movie is that Kevin Smith is good at making porn. It is no secret that I tend not to care for most video porn product. (This oddly gets me many job offers to make mainstream adult video product. Porn Valley is weird.) But I did say that I would excuse almost any obscenity if Jason Mewes did full frontal nudity and, although I would have preferred it if he were visibly . . . ( Read more )

Last House on the Left

Last House on the LeftThe 2009 version of Last House on the Left bears the tagline: If bad people hurt someone you love, how far would you go to hurt them back? The 1972 version of course famously had a tagline which became a catchphrase: To avoid fainting, keep repeating it's only a movie, only a movie, only a movie . . . Last House on the LeftWell, Last House on the Left was initially intended to be an envelope-pushing 70's porn feature and its legacy as a movie has been far beyond that of the average only a movie flick. There is the notion that the current spate of torture porn horror movies is something new, but people like Wes Craven and Sean S. Cunningham pioneered the genre more than three decades ago. Wes Craven, most famous for Nightmare on Elm Street and Scream, wrote and directed the original Last House on the Left and Sean S. Cunningham, most famous for Friday the 13th, produced it. Before you even take into account the legions of movie-makers influenced by Craven and Cunningham, the legacy of Last House on the Left is huge simply for how its creators built on their own work. For the 2009 Last House on the Left, Craven and Cunningham both serve as producers. The director of 2009's version is Dennis Iliadis whose main previous credit is the movie Hardcore, about two prostitutes who fall in love. The initial torture porn grew out of 1970's porn porn. At the time, partly because video not being used yet, any porn flick more involved than a tiny stag loop tended to be approached as a feature. A lot of the underground creative work at the time was about exploring taboos, so there was not as much . . . ( Read more )

Talking Dirty at SXSW

Talking Dirty at SXSW

by Amelia G : March 12th, 2009 sxsw pornSXSW is upon us once again. This reminds me that I meant to post the podcast of a panel Halcyon and I and this camgirl Seska did at SXSW. Halcyon is the king of coming up with humorous, lurid, and otherwise catchy panel titles. This means that, like me and like most web professionals, he has about a billion funny site domains. His main home on the web is currently CockyBastard, although Pinkgasm is listed in the SXSW credits. I’ll spare you all full bios, but SXSW edited my bio to say “Amelia G holds the titles of editor, writer, and photographer who founded Blue Blood” instead of just saying I’m an editor, writer, and photographer. My title on my business cards says chick-in-charge and writer and photographer are not titles. SXSW is a fun conference and they felt very strongly this particular year that it was vital that they refer to those things as titles, so I rolled with it and who knows what process they used for deciding how to specify site or company for each guest speaker.

At any rate, here is the MP3 podcast of our panel:

Pay Up! Should Publishers Choose the Porn Path? Moderator: John Halcyon Halcyon Styn Digital Explorer, Pinkgasm John Halcyon Styn Digital Explorer, Pinkgasm Amelia G Chick in Charge, Blue Blood
Seska Lee Sajnet
As the public becomes more comfortable paying for premium content and services, what can we learn from the pornographic trailblazers? What billing models and payment systems are working online in porn that would successfully crossover to mainstream? What types of content and services can types of sites are ready for the Porn Path of Pay to Peruse? The panel will include veterans in . . .
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Have Syd Blakovich or Madison Young seen my stapler?

Have Syd Blakovich or Madison Young seen my stapler?

by Amelia G : January 16th, 2009 Syd Blakovich Madison Young AVNMike Judge’s Office Space is a hysterically brilliant piece on the soul-sucking nature of certain sorts of employment. The scene where they smash the fax machine is one of the most inspiring moments in American cinema ever. Viewpoint character Peter Gibbons, played with perfect comic timing by Ron Livingston, decides that, rather than quitting his job, he will simply stop going. He and his next door neighbor Lawrence, played with deadpan humor by Diedrich Bader, discuss what they would do if they had mad money. Lawrence’s only unrealized ambition is to have a threesome with two chicks.
Peter Gibbons: What would you do if you had a million dollars? Lawrence: I’ll tell you what I’d do, man: two chicks at the same time, man. Peter Gibbons: That’s it? If you had a million dollars, you’d do two chicks at the same time? Lawrence: Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I were a millionaire I could hook that up, too; ’cause chicks dig dudes with money. Peter Gibbons: Well, not all chicks. Lawrence: Well, the type of chicks that’d double up on a dude like me do. Peter Gibbons: Good point.
Mainstream porn overflows with girl/girl sex, but it is all of the sort where the women are supposed to be into it because they are just soooooooo overheated and no man is handy, not because they like women. The male consumer can fantasize that all he has to do is show up with a taste of the real thing (i.e. cock) and that would just make those ladies’ day. I find the whole issue difficult. On the one hand, I know that site members often enjoy girl/girl pairings, even if the women pictured would not normally have sex . . . ( Read more )
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