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Country Club Dude Bangs Hos, Gay Guy Gay, Guy Who Stepped Out on Wife Stepped Out on Wife, American Idol Has a Couple Appealing Contestants

by Amelia G : March 31st, 2010

janine lindenmulderEveryone in Los Angeles has been getting sick. It is this horrible bug which seems to repeatedly seem to improve and then relapse and tends to turn into pneumonia. It is bad enough that the touring group for this season of American Idol was largely decided on the basis of who could sing best through a sore throat. It seems like almost everyone I know has had this thing. I am no exception and yesterday was my first full day back at work, after like a month. For a workaholic like myself, no matter how much I’ve automated large portions of my business, being too sick to work a full day is pretty much torture.

Today, I have been reviewing what has gone on in the world for the past month. Apparently, the news is all OMG DOG BITES MAN. The “news” that Ricky Martin says he is gay was so blockbuster that it took down his webservers. Unless I get to personally watch Ricky Martin fuck, I’m more interested in the fact that Livin’ La Vida Loca and She Bangs are two of the best songs ever to shake an ass to.

I know I’m late to comment on the Tiger Woods absurdity and South Park has thoroughly and eloquently covered the topic with Sexual Healing, but seriously, that was news? News bulletin: Sometimes rich and powerful country club dudes marry the sorts of women who make good mothers and hostesses and still bang the occasional cocktail waitress or hooker or rebellious college student on the side. This has been the case like since the invention of rich and powerful dudes. The wife or queen or whatever would probably prefer not to have her face rubbed in it or be asked about it by reporters or have everyone know, but, if your partner is a wants-crazy-specific-sex-with-different-people-a-lot person, you just know.

Speaking of which, as a result of the Jesse James “news”, my cell phone messages voicemail got full last week and my email, texts, and various SNS and chat applications all blew up with folks wanting to get photos of girls who banged Jesse James and quotes from me on the topic. It is true that I have a database of probably thousands of tattooed girls willing to get naked and some of them would undoubtedly sleep with a reality show star (like Jesse James) or a paid dude (like Jesse James) or a hot guy with nice tattoos (like Jesse James). I’d like to say that none of the inked up hotties I know would sleep with a married . . .

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Do you take pride in doing what you do well or at least trying to?

Do you take pride in doing what you do well or at least trying to?

by Amelia G : January 25th, 2009

starbucks foamSo, Forrest Black and I just went for coffee. Well, it was Starbucks, so he went for coffee and I went for ice water and conversation. I was just reading a thing about how Warren Buffet built his business and wanted to talk about some of the interesting ways he approached things. So we are talking about how insurance companies invest with your premiums and that is where most of their profits come from, and how Warren Buffet’s primary holding company Berkshire Hathaway actually failed at its primary business and no longer actually produces anything to do with what the original brand was about, and various other factoids which are intriguing, if you find business structures interesting.

At a certain point, I noticed some security guards hovering kind of close to me out of the corner of my eye and wondered if Starbucks had any special rules against people with purple and green hair discussing high finance. I couldn’t think of anything particularly awful I was doing, so I went back to my conversation, but there was still this sense of bad energy. The security guards went away, but people started shouting. As some of the people shouting were Starbucks employees, I assume security fled so they would not be witnesses to the people who worked at the shopping center braining someone with a coffee pot, if that was about to ensue. These security guys know where their paychecks come from and it is not making coffee-drinkers happy.

So apparently there was a customer there who wanted foam on his coffee or crema on his espresso or something like that. The chick who took the order didn’t really understand his question, so she answered kind of noncommittally on whether or not he could . . .

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