Sucker Punch Rejected Geek Rage Contender for Worst Movie Ever

Sucker Punch Rejected Geek Rage Contender for Worst Movie Ever

by Amelia G : March 29th, 2011

sucker punch

When the Sucker Punch billboards first went up in my neighborhood, I felt conflicted. It seemed, on the face of it, to have a decent checklist of things I would like in a movie, but I instinctively lizard-brain hated it. Upon reflection and now that the uniformly negative reviews of the movie are in, here is the problem with media like Sucker Punch.

I might be a little unusual, a little bohemian, artistically-oriented, and a bit disenfranchised. Sometimes the nail which sticks out gets hammered down. Anyone who is a bit different from the norm has most likely experienced being hammered down at some point. (Disclaimer: I would point out that I am about to post a spoiler, but it is impossible to spoil a movie as cynically bad as Sucker Punch.) It doesn’t take an insightful genius to figure out that someone with purple hair might not have sailed through life 100% effortlessly, but having others attempt to hammer one down is not what makes an unusual person interesting. Sucker Punch panders to victims and tries to sell their victimhood back to them. Being unusual doesn’t mean you should embrace victimhood. Ew.

The gist of the movie is that this altporn-looking chick is unfairly institutionalized and scheduled for a lobotomy, in order to rob her of her birthright. So the altporn-looking chick fantasizes that she is actually some sort of stripping prostitute and not a mental patient. Then, when her stripper whore held prisoner in a brothel fantasy gets too sexually specific, she fantasizes that she is a hero in a video game. She is given a quest. Her questmates are raped, tortured, and/or killed. Then the altporn-looking chick hero is lobotomized. But, see, she is still free in her fantasy life, so it is a happy ending. Because chicks, especially alt-y looking ones, cannot change anything or make any kind of difference, even in their own lives, but fantasy can ease our pain.

Uhm, seriously, fuck you, Zack Snyder. Fuck you and fuck the cynical studio that backed this travesty. I note that opening weekend grossed less than $20 million, so I sincerely hope that Sucker Punch’s $82 million dollar production budget is a fiscal sucking chest wound.

It is unusual to find a movie with as consistently terrible reviews as Sucker Punch. It is amusing to . . .

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