Should goths kill emos and eat their flesh?

Should goths kill emos and eat their flesh?

by Amelia G : April 13th, 2010

Maxim Golovatskikh might be hot and in a band, but he is a butcher. Well, actually a year ago that was pretty literally true, on multiple levels, but he has been in jail awaiting trial since then. See Maxim Golovatskikh was a goth boy in a band who worked as a butcher to pay his rent in a gothic group house in St Petersburg.

Unfortunately, it was Maxim Golovatskikh’s misfortune to have a cute emo girl get all hot for him. Cute emo Karina Barduchian was so into Maxim Golovatskikh that she kept right on going over to his place, even afer her mother forbade her to see him. The problem was he and his housemates were all goth-identified, but this Karina Barduchian chick was all emo and hanging out at their party pad, just flaunting her vulnerable cute girl killability. It has also been widely reported that she made fun of really uncute goth boy Yuri Mozhnov for being a florist and she was just really emo, ya know.

So, obviously, the only rational thing for Maxim Golovatskikh and Yuri Mozhnov to do was to wait until the festivities wound down and then drown Karina Barduchian in the bathtub. And cook the tastiest parts of her remains and serve them to their unsuspecting housemate Ekaterina Zinovyeva as a hearty breakfast with potatoes.

Now I’m kind of a foodie, so I used to be curious about cannibalism. Sorta grew out of it. Just a phase I guess. There have been certain warrior tribes who ate portions of fallen foes to gain some of their power, but how much mojo can one get from a cute emo girl with a crush on a gothic boi in a band? Kellie LaPlegua recently did a performance where . . .

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