Juno Causes Teen Pregnancy

by Amelia G : June 29th, 2008

Ivan Reitman directed Ghostbusters and Stripes and produced Heavy Metal, so I’d like to believe that his progeny would be on the side of all that is awesome. His son Jason Reitman adapted Christopher Buckley’s Thank You for Smoking for the screen. I thought he did a great job and I loved the book and love Christopher Buckley’s writing. Doing an adaptation of a good book that readers enjoy is no mean feat. So I’m sure Jason Reitman’s movie Juno is well done. But I haven’t seen it for a few reasons.

I first became aware of Diablo Cody, who is credited with having written Juno, when a bunch of my writer friends started complaining about how they believe Diablo Cody, at best, co-wrote the film and, at worst, allowed her youngish sexually-adventurous hip chick chic to be utilized as a pseudo-feminist face for one of the Reitmans. I’d never heard of her before, so I was surprised by how many people I knew, from really different areas, who all believed this. I always remember Diablo Cody as Cody Diablo because Diablo just sounds like a last name to me and Cody sounds like a first one to me. I guess she kept some kind of a blog about stripping in between office jobs and some of the writers I know base their opinion on the level of maturity in her writing there. I haven’t read the blog and don’t really know. Whoever wrote Juno, it looks like it has some snappy well-delivered dialog, judging only from the trailers. I’m not a fan of the female mascot PR methodology, but I’ll give Diablo Cody the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she did write the film.

Here is where we come to . . .

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Verne Troyer Sex Tape Lawsuit

by Amelia G : June 28th, 2008

The biggest problem with the astroturfing style of marketing is that it makes everyone very skeptical of everything; it makes it very difficult to believe in anything. If a star willingly gets naked on camera, there will be some puritanical types who will think ill of them for it. Yet most people who enjoy being in the spotlight and being immortalized have a hankering to be in the spotlight and be immortalized even when they are, ya know, doing it. I have frequently run into famous people who want me and Forrest Black to shoot artistic nudes of them, but who do not want anyone to see the finished work. As an artist, it is important to me that people actually see what I create, so we have, to date, declined private commissions of this sort. A combination of following the various sex tape scandals, and my own personal conversations with people who wanted to get naked on camera without the social repercussions, has lead me to assume that most sex tapes are released with the knowledge and consent of the parties involved. That way, they can get the erotic attention and the victim sympathy.

The problem with this is that some people actually want their private lives to be, ya know, private. I have come to believe that actor Verne Troyer genuinely feels his privacy is being invaded with the current sex tape clip making the rounds and, at the request of his manager, I am having the honestly barely PG-rated clip removed from BlueBlood.net.

Late this evening, I received an email from someone named Ray Hughes who said that Verne Troyer was his client and who attached a PDF of what appear to be court documents pertaining to . . .

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Verne Troyer Mini-Me Sex Tape

by Amelia G : June 26th, 2008

Today, Blue Blood’s design czar Forrest Black and I rolled over to band manager Jason Fiber’s lovely Hollywood Hills home to do some press on the always-charming and fun Andy LaPlegua. Andy is touring in supporting of the forthcoming Frost EP from Combichrist. So, uhm, naturally, we drank beer and Jason brought up that there was a new sex tape potentially coming out starring Verne Troyer.

I confessed that I already knew this as I’d started my day reading the adult industry trades mags, who were all abuzz with the info that SugarDVD had started the bidding on the Mini-Me sex tape. SugarDVD CEO Jax stated publicly that he would only be into distributing the celebrity sex tape, if it were possible to get proper performer releases from both the actor Verne Troyer and his naked co-star.

I gave my opinion that a Verne Troyer sex tape would be very marketable, but the one I really want to see is where the drug dealer club kid (or whatever he was) allegedly tied up Joe Francis of Girls Gone Wild fame and made him confess his love of receiving anal on video, and then left him in the trunk of a car. Upon reflection, I don’t really want to see a naked Joe Francis being abused, but the karmic justice of it appeals to me.

In the unlikely event that you do not know who Verne Troyer is, he is best known for his role as Mini-Me, the bad guy’s smaller doppelganger protege from Mike Myers’ Austin Powers. He has also appeared in everything from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas to Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone to rap videos and Apple commercials. Really Apple commercials tend to be sorta like viral sex vids . . .

( Read and see more Verne Troyer Mini-Me Sex Tape )

GNR Chinese Democracy Faith and Astroturf

by Amelia G : June 25th, 2008

I first came across Guns n’ Roses’ Appetite for Destruction when I was a teenage metal DJ on the radio in Connecticut.

A little background explanation: I got into doing this gig partly because I’d gone to high school overseas and the American overseas high schools I attended were woefully behind the times when it came to music. Like really behind. I used AC/DC and Rush lyrics in my campaign posters when I ran for class president. (I won. I mean, of course I did; there were AC/DC and Rush lyrics in my campaign posters.) I was shocked when I found out that Led Zeppelin’s “Stairway to Heaven”, the big slow dance number where I went to ninth grade, came out more than a decade earlier than I would have guessed on a multiple choice test. So I arrived at college with more of an Aerosmith taste in music than the average student at a competitive, left-wing, East Coast school normally would have. Although I loved bands like Janes Addiction and The Dead Milkmen and The Cure and The Violent Femmes as soon as I was exposed to them, I held onto the hard rock thing because you never forget your first musical loves. Oddly, although my classmates identified as free-thinking liberal individuals, they seemed to hold the view that bands like Motley Crue and Dokken were for lower class stupid people. My annoyance at this classist hypocritical bigotry is probably the reason I became a metal DJ. I was frustrated that my classmates could be so close-minded about something like music. I enjoyed hard rock in my personal musical mix and I wasn’t about to fake like I didn’t just to impress people I went to school with. . . .

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Astroturfing

by Amelia G : June 25th, 2008

Astroturfing is the word of the week. My brother just told me that one of his model/starfucker friends just called him up to chortle over the word astroturfing. This tells me that it is officially part of the internet lexicon and everybody needs to know the expression.

The term is, like the term spam, derived from an actual product. AstroTurf is the leading brand of fake grass ground covering. Developed in 1964, AstroTurf has been a particular boon for major sports arenas in areas where real grass is not easily grown or cared for. AstroTurf takes their products very seriously and promises to provide whatever is needed for every possible sport:

” The broad range of AstroTurf products ensures that there will be a synthetic turf system engineered to meet the demands of your team’s sport. Whether it’s a field hockey team that prefers the hydrophilic properties of AstroTurf 12™, or a soccer team that prefers the high-density fiber of AstroTurf PureGrass®.

Whatever sport your team plays, there’s an AstroTurf product ready to take the field.”

Grass roots support used to be what you called it when a band or political candidate had a lot of people who believed in them, whether or not the record labels or political machine did. Astroturfing is the act of faking grass roots support.

For example, if you see a point being made over and over again on MySpace or LiveJournal or in forums, and the point is usually made by people who nobody knows in real life, who tell you nothing plausible about themselves, and who do not have known online nicks, then you are probably looking at astroturfing. This means that, when you see certain points made over and over again, by potential sock puppets . . .

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Cuddly Rigor Mortis Voodoo for Good Luck

by Amelia G : June 24th, 2008

I interviewed Kristin Tercek back in 2006 when she was first starting her Cuddly Rigor Mortis line. Since then, she has had a number of her designs mass-produced and distributed. She currently has a series of one-of-a-kind voodoo plushes available and going fast. We’ve got a gallery of her amazingly spooky-adorable voodoo dolls and I caught up with her for a quick chat about talismans for animistic deities.

Amelia G: What was the inspiration for your voodoo doll series?

Kristin Tercek: An awesome collector of our plushes wanted a voodoo doll (in our style) for his wife for Valentine’s Day. After a bit of sketching, Ed [Mironiuk] and I (well it was all Ed, really) came up with a basic pattern — mismatched button eyes, feathers on head and stitching. Then I spent a couple of days putting together different combos of colors and fabrics until one just hit. I liked having some freedom to not have to worry about whether or not I could source enough fabric or buttons for a lot of one specific character, but simply go and buy what I liked. Besides, who can resist a rainbow of feather colors to choose from?

Amelia G: Who are your voodoo dolls most suitable for torturing or do you not recommend sticking pins in them?

Kristin Tercek: I did some research on voodoo dolls and found that the ‘real’ ones are not for torturing or seeking revenge on anyone. They are really good luck charms and there should be 7 different colored pins representing different things like spirituality, health, repelling negative engery, etc. I put actual 3″ needles with different buttons on top into each plush so you can ’stick them’. But it makes it a bit . . .

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Gingerdead Free Candy and Paper Frogs

by Amelia G : June 23rd, 2008

The talented Calan Ree, whose Gingerdead & Friends comic strip I have mentioned here before, wrote about gathering paper frogs this week. According to Calan Ree, paper frogs are these partially translucent, pale, flat, dehydrated amphibians. The frogs apparently get flat from the absence of moisture and not being run over, so recent rains may have washed away the paper frogs which could normally be found in Calan Ree’s neck of the woods this year.

According to Calan Ree, paper frogs are seasonal and normally could be found this time of year. Her searches for them, perhaps due to the weather, proved fruitless. While hunting, she was, however, approached by, not one, but two creepy guys. The first one rolled up on her in a van and asked her if she wanted a ride. The second guy asked for directions to the nearest schoolyard, despite …

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How To Have a Nonconformist Evolved Intellect

by Amelia G : June 22nd, 2008

Since 1992, Blue Blood has been about encouraging people to think critically and not just go along with the herd. My hair is purple and red at the moment. But the hair color is a signifier, not the endgame. What I mean by this is that all of us who fought the battle to convince the world that someone with primary-colored hair or tattoos could be beautiful or sexy, we can all pat ourselves on the back and go home, if that was all the whole thing was about. That battle is won. But the point is that the physical appearance was supposed to be about being a maverick and living on your own terms, about marching to the beat of your own drummer. If mohawks become trendy, then having one does not necessarily signify that one is a nonconformist. You can still aesthetically enjoy very tall hair, but the most important body part in the battle against conformity is slightly lower — your brain. You need to have an evolved intellect to avoid being a bah bah sheep conformist.

I’m about to tell you all the most important lesson of a liberal arts education and it is not even going to cost you a hundred grand or whatever higher learning is priced at these days. I was less enamored of the lessons I learned in school, while I was paying off the tab, so here is the most crucial stuff for free. My parents certainly deserve most of the credit for my brain, but my education really helped ingrain some of their lessons.

In order to have an intelligent and human approach to the world, you must learn to be analytical and think critically. Some people are born more or less disposed . . .

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Does Anyone Know if Blue Blood Superstar Hottie Jennifer from the Nuns is Okay?

by Amelia G : June 21st, 2008

So I was chatting with my pal Anders from the band Anders Manga yesterday. I had just been looking at some snapshots of us partying together at a Hollywood hotspot just off Hollywood Blvd. When I say Hollywood hotspot, in this instance, I mean a place variously called White Lotus, The Ritual Supper Club, the local bus station, etc. where A-listers like Mark Wahlberg can go to bang porn stars cast for the next season of Entourage on HBO. At any rate, I’ll post the pics shortly and add a link, but Anders and I were just talking about this and that and he asked if I had heard from Jennifer of The Nuns recently.

Descended from Welsh royalty and initially known as Jennifer Miro in the earliest 1970’s incarnation of The Nuns as a seminal punk band in San Francisco, Jennifer steered the band in a more gothic direction over time and was variously known as Jennifer Anderson or Tiffany Tarantula or Maitresse Jennifer. The Nuns were huge in San Francisco and opened for bands like The Ramones and The Damned and were even on the bill for the very last Sex Pistols show. Jennifer also had a role in Dr. Caligari, the seminal cinema of transgression film from Stephen Sayadian and Jerry Stahl, who were also responsible for Cafe Flesh. However, Maitresse Jennifer or Mistress Jennifer is probably best known to members of the Blue Blood boards as the Blue Blood hottie who asked all the most interesting questions about love in the kinky tumultuous world of fame, wealth, and rock and roll.

[13:10] Anders Manga: hey have you heard from Jennifer? from nuns?
[13:10] Anders Manga: she vanished?
[13:11] AmeliaG: not in ages. I was in pretty regular contact with her, so I wonder if she got married or sex murdered
[13:11] Anders Manga: i heard her friend in the band was murd…

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Reddit link you can vote up as desired:
Altporn site SuicideGirls settles lawsuit, defendent jilts donors, tragilarity ensues (blueblood.net)

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Reddit link you can vote up as desired:
SuicideGirls then apparently had the hubris to inform him that “alternative images of beauty (dyed hair, piercing and tattoos)” were their sort of trademark (blueblood.net)

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Digg link you can vote up as desired:

SuicideGirls Bizarre Sex Site Lawsuit

blueblood.net — Strange tale of a model getting sued by a sex site, raising money to fund her lawsuit against the sex site that she claims duped her, then settling the lawsuit and raising more money to fund her legal defense by getting people to sign up for the sex site again. I want the normality of R Kelly’s lawsuit – this is too hard for me to follow.

I think I like Encyclopedia Dramatica better than Wikipedia. On the rare occasions I look at anything on Wikipedia, I generally get so sad that I can’t make art for days. But I was just shown a mention of myself on Encyclopedia Dramatica and was amused by it. I think it is because Encyclopedia Dramatica admits what it is and Wikipedia pretends to be something it is not. I feel I am being utterly fair and even-handed, but it is still funny.

Blue Blood takes on the “settlement” with conspiracy theories and lulz. If you only read one of the articles, read this one. Amelia G is busting Philip’s nuts harder than a whore in need of crack money.

And the meta-journalism award for funniest title on an article about my legal beat coverage goes to Gram Ponante for:

Report: Altporn world angry that drama is going away

The copyright fight between the photographer Lithium Picnic, his partner, Apnea, and their former employer, the site Suicide Girls, has been settled, Lithium Picnic says.

Previously: You’re not one of us
See also: SuicideGirls vs Lithium Picnic lawsuit settled

SuicideGirls Vs. Lithium Picnic: The Final Chapter?

By Lux Nightmare

“Free Lithium Picnic” boybeater tank top: $25. Limited edition print benefiting Lithium Picnic lawsuit relief: $450. Total Lithium Picnic lawsuit relief: $20,000. Finding out the whole thing was just a “misunderstanding”: priceless. (warnermediagroup.com + sglawsuit.chipin.com + community.livejournal.com; more @ blueblood.net)

Ha, ha, thanks, Lux.

SuicideGirls vs Lithium Picnic Lawsuit Settled

by Amelia G : June 15th, 2008

So I guess this is just weird sex trial coverage week at BlueBlood.net. First Max Hardcore gets convicted, then Ira Isaacs gets a stay, and then R. Kelly got acquitted. Now it appears that notoriously litigious, Hot Topic-esque, altporn, membership site SuicideGirls (aka SG) has settled their most recent lawsuit. It is hard to keep track of all their legal scuffles, but this was the one against their former contractor fetish photographer Philip Warner and his collaborator altmodel Apnea.

The initial dispute between SuicideGirls and Apnea appeared to arise because she modeled with a girl named Katie for a forthcoming site, which had offered her and Katie disproportionately large sums of money for a simple nude photo shoot. Even though this new site had not launched yet and most planned sites never do launch, SG was particularly bent out of shape about the Apnea and Katie photos because Katie had also reportedly worked as SG’s accountant. This presumably meant that she was privy to very proprietary information. SG went so ballistic over this that they not only took away Apnea’s complimentary site membership, but they put a stop payment on a check they had already written to her.

The dispute between comically psycho-competitive SuicideGirls and their staff photographer Philip Warner appeared to arise when Philip posted on the internet that he was going to be adding community features to his own web site, basically making it a lot more like SG. According to AltPorn.net’s exclusive interview with Apnea, SG handed Philip a new and more exclusionary contract one day after he announced his web site intentions. He refused to sign the new more controlling contract, so one day later SG made a public break with him. . . .

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