Sucking on Elf Ears and Castle After-Parties
by Amelia G : December 20th, 2008
So I am just clocking in for a day at the orifice, watching porn movies based on World of Warcraft. There are a group of magical “whores” on a quest to battle an evil darkness spreading through the land. The fantasy quest episodes open with some appropriately mood-setting medievalist-feeling music and then get down to doing battle or doin’ it. A demon directs a threesome. An elf gives a pirate her booty in exchange for something decent to wear. Delightfully, a magic-user, played by Bianca Dagger, makes a special prismatic rock a lil bigger for a lesbian tryst. There is a recurring motif of characters, momentarily befuddled by magic and illusion, coming to their senses and being like, “OMG, what did I just do?” The best of these is when a Paladin, played by Monica Mayhem, suddenly snaps out of it and declares that she would never fuck a barbarian . . . while his splam is still on her face.
I think that these swords and sorcery sex videos would have been perfect viewing material when I was Treasurer of Science Fiction Club in college. The sort of group experience where everybody would have gone around afterward for weeks saying, “I would never fuck a barbarian.” Which would be pretty awesome.
The Whore Lore episodes are directed by Dez and the stories are mostly by Dez and Staci with a screenwriting assist from Marcus London. Marcus London also plays a well-built, tattooed, red-cloaked rough partner for some of the whores. He looked familiar and I figured out that I didn’t recognize him for his 2007 win for Best Oral Sex Scene, but I did recognize him because he played a pornstar in a scene . . .
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