18 or Dead

Had a great shoot tonight. Beautiful girl of a flavor I love to shoot, unique and individualistic and passionate and intense with a lot of star quality, great model and actual potential friend.

Fell asleep pretty soon after.

Still got a sad girl thing going on though.

Still got a sad artist thing going on.

Still got a disillusioned with what I used to care about thing going on.

I feel like I missed the boat believing in higher ideals while everyone else was out to for $$ or one-upping the next guy.

Some sexist bullshit from various adult webmasters I know is making me beserk.

Some sexist bullshit from various rocker guys I know is making me beserk.

I know I just have bizarrely bad PMS. Way worse than normal and way way worse than I’ve had it for a while. I don’t usually drink, so maybe all the “fun” I’ve been having lately has caused this.

Whatever it is, I find myself wishing more and more often that I were either 18 or dead.