What am I gonna do with my life?

A forum I frequent was just asking people what they did before doing websites. My answer:

Before this I did pretty much the same thing in print.

Have also been a stagehand, store manager, and about a billion other things.

Worst day job ever: A friend of mine and I took these helium balloons and tank and drove to a spot designated on a map. Then we had to make sure the balloons stayed aloft . . . so the airplanes dispensing pesticide would know where to spray. For some reason, although we both got really sick and couldn’t finish the number of weeks in the contract, we were able to negotiate so that they paid us for the whole thing anyway.


Thinking about this reminds me of when I finished university and didn’t know what to do next. I was so the girl most-likely-to-succeed. Career planning told me to be an entrepreneur. My parents told me mostly nothing and occasionally circled low-end mindless jobs with no room for advancement in the newspaper. Admin Assist this. I told my father that I wanted a career that would truly consume me, that I could be passionate about, that I need passion, intensity, rock and roll in my life, a job I would want to take home with me. My father repeated this for years after as I said, “I just wanna rock” which is fucking retarded and not something anyone who knows me could ever imagine me saying. A sometime boyfriend of mine offered to get me a job as a junior management consultant. Unfortunately, he described it as me being sort of his secretary but more important, so I told him to keep his sexual fantasies to himself.

I guess I have a bunch of different jobs now. I don’t really know what to say I do when people ask, it feels so complicated, but I guess it works out.

A friend of mine from school just wrote to me and when I told him what I was up to, I said I apparently take photos of naked people and party with rock stars. It is not 100% fullfilling, but it is more or less what I set out to do.

I don’t know what I really want to be doing. Feeling kind of low on the fullfillment meter today. Don’t think I’m still hungover.