I feel totally sick. I feel so sick I cancelled the doctor appointment I had today.

Went to Ghoul Skool last night and got to hear about Sharon’s European tour and Jenner’s ferret rescue site and Mark Splatter’s new digs. Talked about Swag Magazine with some folks, but did not come to any conclusions other than that a lot of people like it. Which is cool.

Went to an afterparty and was fairly irritated. Admittedly the friend of mine whose place it was at told me when I came in who was there and the list was basically [rock star name censored], [rock star’s girlfriend’s name censored], [rock star], [rock star’s PA], [rock star], and “a really irritating guy, you’ll see what I mean.” Wow, was that telling it like it was. There was this morbidly obese dude — keep in mind I like varied body types, but this guy was grotesque — who managed to say insulting things before even being entirely introduced. Then he went on this rambling story about how his claim was that he once lived in the same group house that some people who may or may not have been in Good Charlotte bought their coke at, although not from him, but the guys from Good Charlotte in his opinion knew the guys from Godhead. To make fatso’s story even lamer, almost everyone in the building knew either everyone in Godhead or in Good Charlotte or both. He avoided details and started on a different annoying commentary when he realized this.

Then I had to deal with a variety of guys asking for assistance meeting girls. One guy was there who I already made an introduction for, with the understanding that he was going to set up a meeting for me to pitch a comic book concept for one of my favorite girls. So he has been blowing off his part of the bargain for months now and he asked me to pitch him again and I did and then he asked me to call him next week to do a more formal pitch to just him and then maybe he would talk to the person he was supposed to set up the pitch meeting with in the first place. I actually like the guy, but I think he is not really intelligent enough to understand the finer points of the deal, so there is only so much I want to talk to him about it. Either that or he just wants to rip off my ideas.

Then another guy who is dating one of my models started acting like he did not know who Max Hardcore is. Not likely in his case. I’d gotten a plus for the party and I invited this guy because he has repeatedly asked to go to an adult video company party with me or Forrest. I don’t go to a lot of those, so it was a while from him asking until I was able to offer, but then he was totally rude and acted like I was trying to get him to cheat on his girlfriend, even though I told him to bring her.

Some other more upsetting stuff happened.

And now this morning my throat is sore and my eyes have been hurting for a couple of days and, despite all the doctors I have seen lately, my jaw and mouth and head just ache and ache.

Part of what is making my head hurt is medical and part of it is the frustration of trying to work on new projects with other people and always having the other people either only want to take from me or act like we are working together and then backstab or drop the ball. I’m sick of working with people I have to micromanage to get to do anything or people who are only out for themselves. There are some really cool exceptions to that pattern, but sometimes the sucky stuff just really gets me down.

I should go to that party tonight, but I’ve got stuff I would rather work on and I’m pretty sure it would mean leaving the house again.

–Amelia G