I had all four of my wisdom teeth out almost a year ago and the empty sockets still hurt like a bitch when it rains and around my time of the month and if I chew in the back of my mouth and if I get stressed out and clench or grind my teeth.

I went to an expensive Beverly Hills doctor who had worked on someone I know.

I got twilight anaesthsia for the removal which means you are sort of unconscious and should not remember it, but over time I keep remembering more of the surgery like a dream flowing back into your mind later in the day — ONLY REALLY REALLY HORRIBLE. Every time I feel a twinge of pain in my jaw, it reminds me of the horror.

Beforehand, I asked them to put the IV in my left arm because, being an internet girl, I wanted to be able to use my mouse arm afterwards. They couldn’t get a big enough vein on my left arm. After being stuck repeatedly unsuccessfully, I told them to go ahead and use the right. I ended up with giant bruised track marks all over both arms. So I looked like a junkie for some time afterwards. I also almost died afterwards because I had some kind of a reaction to the medication or the surgery atrauma and could not even keep water down for two days. I broke my sutures vomiting violently and wow did that hurt. Finally the doctor prescribed an antiemetic to keep me out of the ER.

Needless to say, no ability to eat food or swallow water means no pain killers. I had rented a bunch of summer blockbuster type movies to watch while zonked on painkillers after the surgery. I think Spielberg movies really lose something when you are wishing someone would amputate your head through the whole thing. I used to love mashed potatoes and now they disgust me because they were the first thing I tried to eat after the surgery. I will also never watch the Jurassic Park sequels now.