Living in Los Angeles is like watching a strange movie with you in it

So I was watching a comic last week and she was wearing a duster and an attractive midriff-baring sweater top and she looked awfully fine for a comedian. So she tells the crowd that she recently lost 35 pounds. And of course everyone claps. She says that everyone always claps when she says that, but she could tell that, with a Los Angeles audience, everyone in the audience is thinking “keep up the good work.”

I just started a new excercise program. I am sooooooooooo sore right now. I got this gigantic blond Russian guy to make me do it right. When I was in college, I used to lift weights pretty regularly. When people asked what sport we were working out for, my friends and I used to say “sex.”

Apparently, if you live in Los Angeles for long enough, you end up with a really hot personal trainer with an accent telling you to do two more reps. It is inevitable.

–Amelia G