journal Archive

I am having trouble getting anything done. I normally avoid the news, except for Jon Stewart (even though I think Anderson Cooper is one sexy boy), but I can’t stop watching CNN this week. I am so appalled at how long it has taken to send the proper help. The reports of volunteers being turned away from troublespots make me sick. Everyone from private US citizens to foreign governments to the Salvation Army have been stopped from rendering aid. I don’t even understand how there is aid which couldn’t get there from our own American government resources. That people were stopped from helping just makes me so angry, makes me feel so impotent. I am so digesting my stomach lining. The handling of the Katrina disaster is such a travesty even the newscasters on FOX and CNN are taking over the job of shouting at the TV for us. I just found out that the last of my personal friends from NOLA showed up more or less okay yesterday. That is some relief, but, as a patriot and a human being, I am still so angry and so sad. I normally make it a policy not to post about anything remotely political online. But most of what I’ve been doing since this happened in watching news on TV and the web and reading message board and journal posts about it and making posts myself which I normally wouldn’t, but this is just too much. How could this happen in America?

I ordered a home gym, but apparently it is going to take eight fucking weeks to ship to me. Who knows if I will still even want to be in shape then.

New Orleans being 80% underwater is creeping me out.

All work and no play makes Amelia something or other.

I kind of miss school.

Youth really is wasted on the young.

I want to go somewhere autumn is happening.

I feel sort of depressed for reasons so random and strange, I want to smack myself.

I’ve had a fever for the last couple days. I don’t feel sick really. Just feverish and kind of delirious.

Wow, I’ve been staring blankly at the screen for some time since I typed the first part of this. I bought like everything in the get-well-soon juices section of Ralph’s a day ago. Maybe I will drink some juice and read a novel now. I’m not sure too much more work is getting done today. I did get to the post office which I really needed to do, so that’s cool. I want to be functional by Saturday.

I’ve been feeling really positive and upbeat and optimistic lately, but that completely freaks me out. Is that gothic or what?

I didn’t get any of the work done yesterday which I had planned. I’m getting my hair cut today and going to the eye doctor and then I hope to have time to get some dinner with a friend and then I get to play catchup on work.

ForrestBlack will be my designated driver for the time being.

Note to rest of population: I’m not really in the mood to be taken advantage of this week. If you are planning on trying to chump me, please reschedule for next week or perhaps the week after that. Thank you.

I said a cheeseburger, motherfucker!

I’ve only worn cool shoes twice in the past year. I’m not like a big shoe chick, but wearing boring ass walking shoes all the time is just really not me. Plus, lately I can’t always get the aforementioned boring ass walking shoes onto my feet. I got these free slipper when I stayed at the Ritz-Carlton last, but I look silly wearing them in the supermarket. At least, I suspect I do.

I’ve had some people be really cool lately. Had a few super nice dinners with some strong women I really enjoy. Found out some humorous things I have in common in some places I probably can’t post about.

Sometimes I wish some of my relationships were more equal. Especially in a business context. I feel like I always have to be the cheerleader and the supportive worker bee, while other people blow off their responsibilities. I get so frustrated that I run out of cheer for the people who deserve it. I think I’m going to make a commitment to myself to hand that out more appropriately. I need to re-think where I put my energies and support because they are not unlimited resources.

A lot of my photos have been being stolen more often lately and it has been kind of a nuisance. Plus people keep impersonating Scar from Scar13.com and I have to shut the freak’s sites down. All flattering I suppose, but bleah.

Forrest and I have photography in around half a dozen magazines on the newsstand right now and that is cool. New Dana Dark update on Blue Blood’s Gothic Sluts tonight. I so adore Dana. She is really special.

My biggest peeve du jour is that it is so difficult to communicate tone on the internet. The other day someone I have known for something like seriously eighteen years made a flip comment about airports and, even though it would have gone against everything I know about her, I wondered if she meant that she opposed real freedom in favor of fictional security. Duh, of course not. But in person I would have heard how she meant it.

There are so many things which go unsaid because they are impossible to communicate online without starting a war. I prefer being straightforward and telling it like it is, so this digital tongue-biting really wears on my soul.

I’m going to take my hot bath now, if it has not grown cold already. Then I am going to watch Entourage on TiVo and hopefully fall asleep early enough to be able to drag my decrepit ass to my morning doctor appointment.

Have you ever noticed that the people who are the most unpleasant on the LJ system always have friends only journals where they give nothing of themselves to the world. I think that, because they are nasty and small, they assume the rest of the planet is also just waiting for the perfect opportunity to cut them in some petty way and all they need is info. They are terrified of having to reap what they sow.

I don’t take a negative word seriously from anyone who has to hide. Does anybody take cowards like that seriously???

I always liked the philosophy of asking yourself, at the end of each day, if anyone is now somehow better off because you passed their way. I can’t even get my head around how awful it must be to be the sort of person where no one is ever happier because they passed their way. Sometimes I’m really glad I’m not other people.

I’ve managed to find every time-wasting activity on the internet tonight I think.

I should pull the network card out of my machine when I have writing to do.

I guess tomorrow is another day. Bleah.

I wish the drunk people outside would all be struck mute by the wrathful hand of some deity. Right about now. I’m having enough trouble concentrating and they are really not helping. I really want to yell out the window:

DUDE, YOU DIDN’T GET LAID. SO WHAT. GET OVER IT. CALL A CAB. GO HOME.

Sometimes living in the heart of Hollywood kinda blows.

Yay! Forrest and I shot the cover of the new issue of Spread. We still need to get the mag, but I’m really pleased about it. This is from a shoot we did with author/performance artist Michelle Tea where the shoot was really expensive and ended up sort of SNAFUed and I am super pleased to have it turn out as a cool magazine cover. Whoo-hoo!

I heart film.

Forrest Black and I shot screenwriter/actress Guinevere Turner for both this month’s Girlfriends and this month’s On Our Backs. Sexy and talented Blue Blood Mary Jane did Guin’s makeup for both shoots and she posed with Guin for the On Our Backs one.

Molly has some interesting factoids about Guinevere Turner at Guinevere Turner in On Our Backs

I’m really having trouble getting into a real writing headspace after dealing with techie computer stuff all week.

Got the most recent issue of Marquis in. Forrest just posted thumbnails of some of our pages from it at this link.

I had a great time at dinner tonight. I finally had a coffee and my headache is much dissipated but still lurking in the back of my brainpan.

S, who really is a science fiction writer, peer-pressured me into taking this quiz. I am apparently:

I am: Robert A. Heinlein Beginning with technological action stories and progressing to epics with religious overtones, this take-no-prisoners writer racked up some huge sales numbers.

I think not.

Heinlein probably would not have procrastinated the way I am procrastinating the article I have to write right now. I mean, right this instant, while I am blogging instead.

Now I’m wondering if how much water I drink means anything sinister.

This endless headache is starting to make me really grouchy. I’ve got some really tough stuff to deal with with work right now and a throbbing head is not improving my ability to address them. The headache can’t be dehydration because I drink water all freaking day all the time. Probably a lot more than is normal.

Going to take a break to get sushi with a friend this evening and that should help.

Forrest saw my last post and told me what he got me for my birthday. He got me a couch! Forrest is awesome. I don’t know what I’m going to do about the space issue, but whatever.

I wish my head would stop hurting.