I just did the paperwork to order a replacement for the Wesleyan University BA with Honors diploma I threw out many years ago. I tossed it for a few reasons:
(1) It had gotten water damage and was literally growing gross green mold.
(2) Apparently writing an honors thesis and being a TA as an undergrad and all those great grades and being able to handle literally a double courseload my last year, along with lots of extracurriculars . . . well, it didn’t seem like the whole package had turned out to equal anything terribly valuable for what it cost.
(3) The woman at the Wesleyan registrar’s office was a total rude little tyrant when I called to find out about getting it switched up. I told her that, when I made my first million, I was going to start sending the alumni fund copies of my tax returns with her name attached, but, alas, I don’t recall her name. I do remember that she told me she had just refused to help a nun with the same problem, so she surely wasn’t going to help me.
(4) Punk rock.
(5) Seriously, it was growing green mold in the basement of New Cambodia.
Lately, I have felt a bit like I am on a journey to reclaim the existence which should have been mine, should have been my birthright.
So, I’m feeling rather Daenerys Targaryen at the moment. Going to take back what is mine with fire and blood. And a $50 check and some notarized forms.